Daar word op die oomblik in die kerk meer gepraat oor self-ontplooiing as oor self-opoffering.-Anon.......As ‘n kerk haar woorde begin devalueer, dan word die kerk ‘n ramp vir die volk. - K Schilder

10/01/2009

Human Being Recall Notice


This notice applies to all human beings, no exceptions. Read carefully. After reading, please click on this button to notify others of this important recall notice.
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known as "SIN".Some Symptoms:
Loss of direction
Lack of peace and joy
Depression or confusion in the mental component
Foul vocal emissions
Selfish, violent behavior
Amnesia of origin
Fearfulness
Rebellion
Pride
To correct this SIN defect, the Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.There is no additional fee required.The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
Love
Joy
Peace
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Patience
Self-control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the HOLY SPIRIT. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without making these corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to many dangers and problems --- and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
Thank you for your attention and prompt respons.

7 comments:

Liza said...

Hmmm... 'n uitstekende 'manual'. Maklik om te verstaan. Sorg net dat jy nie jou eie interpretasie daarin lees nie.

Ondervind self nog so 'n paar probleme met die instruksies - miskien verg dit 'n bietjie meer self-dissipline en uithouvermoë...

Henrietta said...

Mooi man, goed uitgedink! Self is ek so effe "tegnologies gestrem", so ek sukkel biki met allie knoppies - wonder waarom dit so sou wees? Dalk deel van die oorspronklike probleem ;)))?

Henrietta said...

Grappies op 'n stokkie - as mens mooi na die storietjie kyk, pla die verduideliking van die oorsprong van sonde my: al is daar die reëltjie ingevoeg dat die Maker op geen manier aanspreeklik vir die defek nie, kan die "robot" Hom nie blameer vir die defek nie? Ek het gesoek vir die basiese, nl. dat die "defek"/sondeval gekom het vanweë die mens se sug na om soos God te wees sonder God en die gepaardgaande ongehoorsaamheid.

Liza said...

Die produk het aanvanklik perfek gefunksioneer, maar het met die kaping/herprogrammering 'geshort circuit' en disfunksioneel geraak.

Soos oorle Hansie gesê het - 'dis die duiwel se skuld'.;))

Yf said...

Wel, een ding is seker, die dag as ek ge-"recall" word sal ek vir geen ekstra tyd vra nie. Dink net, om op 'n plek te wees waar daar geen gebrek, geen siekte of swaarkry, geen, geen trane gaan wees nie! Wie sal nie op so 'n plek wil wees nie? Daar is mos 'n feesmaal aan die gang! (Opng. 19). As ons mekaar in die lewe nie sien nie, ek wag vir julle by die Oospoort. Sorg asb. dat julle daar is, betyds gehoor!

Henrietta said...

AMEN , broer Yf! Dit was 'n ontroerende belewenis om in 1995 die toegemesselde Oos-Poort te sien, en te weet: Hierdie pleister gaan afgebreek word, met Jesus se Wederkoms...

Liza, ek hou van jou her-skryf van die storie - dit maak baie meer sin! Sjoe, mens kan 'n hele Sci-Fi fliek daaroor maak, iets soos The Matrix....

Liza said...

My twee fav, Matrix kwotes.

"The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth."

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

Yf, ek sê altyd vir my twee geliefde katte, beide al 14 jaar oud, hulle moet eendag vir hulle nooi op die blou bankie aan die binnekant van die hek wag...:)